i wonder if there will ever be a point
when i won't have to check the "single" box
when filling out information about myself.
who knows if
maybe i'll even be checking the "divorced" box,
or the "separated" box some day?
it's crazy that no matter how much
i wantneed to be single,
i still crave someone.
it really is human nature.
what i miss most is having that confidante.
someone who is on your side no matter what.
but,
i know that i'm still getting to know me,
that i'm still learning to love the person
that i am - inside & out.
and that being in a relationship right now
just is not what i need.
because aside from not being able to
find any date-worthy guys,
i also have to be able to survive without someone.
i'm a serial monogamist.
not that that's necessarily a horrible thing,
but when you've pretty much been in relationships
since you were 16 (and are now pushing 24),
it's time to do some exploring.
i've become too dependent on having someone
there in the past.
i'm actually proud of myself for having gone
out with a couple guys (as nothing serious),
and having stayed single for this long.
but, in reality, i have to wonder what the future
has in store for me.
will i find prince charming?
will i get butterflies again?
will i find someone to stay up with at night
until the sun comes out,
talking about absolutely nothing & absolutely everything?
will i find someone who really gets me,
and loves me despite (or because) all of my flaws?
i want to live for me,
but it's so hard when you feel so damn alone,
and are surrounded by friends who have something.

...i'm really just being overly emotional
from the lack of sleep.
i'm definitely on the verge of a mental breakdown.
woot.