I can't deal with this.

He hurts me too badly.

I can't even imagine what it would be like if it ended up being more.

It would be filled with drama, and that is most certainly something I don't want.

It would be miserable, it would be chaotic.

There are some things I have to realize I can't do,

and this is one of them.

I guess he's always been a project to me.

He's always been the one that got away.

This time, he was my scape goat out of a relationship that I no longer wanted,

an excuse, my excuse.

I can't change him, obviously.

He's been the same since I met him, just older and more screwed up.

More than anything, I'm annoyed with myself for getting involved.

I should know better by now.

He's an egocentric rogue.

I'm entirely too good for this whole situation.

I can only take so much before I break,

and he's honestly pushed me to that place.

I've really never met anyone who misconstrues things as much as he does.

He takes my light-hearted comments and invitations

and twists them into me being crazy and needy.

I don't know how he does it,

but in every instance, I become the one at fault for everything.

Who does that?

What's odd is that he can be totally nice to me.

But that person exists 2% of the time,

versus the insane, dramatic, narcissist that inhabits him the other 98%.

I fall for all the wrong people at exactly the right times.

It's a habit that I have to shake.

I have to realize I can't take on guys as "projects".

...I just need to stop looking.