i'm always so unsure of what to write type about in this blog.
mainly, how i want to write.
do i want it to be more creative writing, do i just want
documentation of what's going on in my life,
or about bigger, broader things?
do i write what's going on in my head,
about things i'm liking at the moments, songs i'm listening to?
i don't really ever like to get too personal, i don't like using names.
sometimes i'm feeling deep, sometimes i'm feeling more superficial.
my likes & dislikes are constantly changing,
because i'm learning new things about myself on a daily basis.
hmm...i'm thinking i want to self-reflect right now.
maybe make a list of things i definitely know about myself
right at this moment.

-i'm a perfectionist; i have to have things symmetrical,
things need to be even, everything has its place.
-i'm extremely picky, especially in regards to food; i'm not
huge on trying new things. i don't like things that are super
"exotic". i don't like ice cream with weird stuff in it.
-i hate being touched; whether i'm at work and someone
taps me to move, or giving hugs to a friend, i'm weird about it.
-i'm a procrastinator and i'm always late; if you need me to be
somewhere at a certain time, tell me a time that's an hour early.
-i'm extremely shy. in a way that makes me feel almost
claustrophobic when i'm around people i don't know. i'm kinda
socially retarded, actually. it's really hard for me.
-i'm very insecure; i've gained some weight in the past few years,
and it's been a blow to my self-esteem. i need to start eating
right and exercising a lot more.
-i really don't like other people's dogs. i like the roommates dog,
my family's dogs, and my dogs. that's about it.
-even though sometimes i hate my job, i'm pretty good at it.
definitely doesn't mean i want to be there forever, just that i
should appreciate it more.
-i crave knowledge. i feel like i'm getting dumber every second
that i'm not in school. but honestly, going back to school scares
the crap out of me. i don't want to deal with meeting new people.
-i'm very indecisive, especially in the style of things i like; clothes,
shoes, furniture, decor.
-recently i've realized, money isn't everything, but it sure does help
a lot. i don't want a huge house when i get older, just one that i
absolutely love. i found that one, on the corner of H & 46th.
-i'm a people pleaser. i don't want to hurt anyone's feelings,
even if they do things i don't like or agree with. i just want people
to like me, i guess. even if it means putting a fake smile on my face.

...ok, i know there are more, but i'm done for the time being. i'm being
lazy and need to go find something to do...maybe go jogging.



ps - i added a music player to the blog....like?