i love the playlist on here so much.
all of the songs give me that feeling in my stomach
that lets me know it's something i love.
songs like that take me back to when i was 18, 19.
long drives to nowhere, going to shows far, far away.
hanging out with friends that mattered more than anything.
falling for unattainable boys, ending up drunkenly in bathtubs.
honestly, things couldn't have been better.
then i moved and everything changed...everything.
i lost a part of myself that i'll never get back. makes me sad.
in those couple years, i had some of the best (& most reckless)
times of my teenage life. i loved it.
but...like the william fitzsimmons song on my playlist;
"everything has changed".
that's a part of life, though.
people grow up.
people move on.
people change.
it's not always bad, not always good. it just....is.
i've definitely grown up a lot.
granted, i feel like a kid still...but
i've learned so much about myself the last couple years.
i've learned a lot about my family, we've become much closer.
i definitely get my taste in architecture from my mother.
i love anything spanish style and rustic,
colorful and homey.
my mom also taught me that it's really ok to go out
without makeup on, just au natural.
that's always so ironic to me - that i rarely wear makeup,
even when i have the opportunity to do it,
because makeup is my love, my passion.
(ugh. i miss doing it. but that's another story.)
my over-indulgent spending comes from my grandmother
whose motto basically is:
"can't spend it when you're gone." ha.
albeit, i've gotten a lot better about not spending.
also, from my grandma, i've gotten my love for
animals, plants, and flowers,
and my sympathy for those less fortunate than myself.
she always tells me what a big heart i have.
no matter how crappy i'm feeling, thinking of that
makes me smile.
my appreciation for long drives came from both
of my maternal grandparents.
every weekend, we would drive somewhere;
usually napa, sonoma, benicia,
i'm pretty sure that's where my love for small towns
came from. that, and the occasional drives with my
mom to grass valley, sonora, & anywhere with cute
little shops.
so weird that i love small towns now that i'm older,
because when i was younger, i would always say:
"i can't live somewhere without a mall!!"
i hate malls now....go figure.
and now i'm going to have a nephew here pretty soon.
i couldn't be more thrilled.
& even though i've gone through my entire life saying
how much i dislike kids, i told my mom & sister that
i now have to have a kid in the next 4 years because
i don't want my nephew and my kid to be too far apart.
ha.

my, how "everything has changed".