i'm feeling somewhat somber today.
there's a knot in my stomach.
i'm not sure why.
i've been under a lot of stress lately,
but with the help of some awesome
family members,
a lot of that has diminished.
unfortunately, where one stressful situation
has been taken care of,
another one takes its place.
albeit, a little less threatening,
but there all the same.
i cannot seem to get content right now.
nothing is fulfilling enough for me.
and i certainly don't know what i want...
in regards to anything.
i've always been indecisive,
but lately i've gotten ridiculous.
especially in regards to my heart & feelings.
lately i'm thinking i don't want to be tied down.
i like having the freedom to come & go as i please.
not having to answer to anyone is amazing.
because having someone breathing down my neck,
constantly asking me what i'm doing and where i'm going
is just not something i want to deal with anymore.
as much as i care about the ex,
i'm glad we've gotten to a point where
we can let each other do our own things.
it's finally starting to feel like we're not a couple anymore...
almost a year later.

wow.
realizing it's been almost a year
since we haven't officially been a couple.
that's really weird.
moving away was probably the best thing i did.
as hard as it's been, i'm glad i did it.
it's made me see things from a different perspective.
it's made me grow up a little bit.
something i needed to do.
he's still one of the people i'm closest to,
and probably always will be.
but, for now, we're friends...
and, for now, it's best that way.

...totally got off track with that.

anywho,
i think i'm gonna try to get out of town
next weekend.
have thurs-sat off.
i know it's the 4th,
but whatevs.
i need a beach & some color in my life.
capitola sounds amazing.

or
...anyone wanna go to greece? ;)

1958-2009 ♥