i really dislike being over analytical.
i over think everything.
it usually leads to me being insecure,
and generally ends with me giving up on something or someone.
it's something i know i need to change.
i need to make a conscious decision to fix it.
for the most part, i'm a pretty laid-back girl,
i really just go with the flow.
but sometimes things get under my skin,
and i let them bother me a bit more than they should.
for the most part, it's something small and stupid.
so now as i'm growing up,
i realize that i need to not waste my time on
such pointless things.
what's the point of being unhappy?
why not just go with the flow?
why not just see how things turn out?
instead of worrying about it all so much.
like i've said in earlier posts,
i'm getting to know myself more and more all the time.
so i guess in realizing this, it's actually a good thing.
because it means i can do something about it.
as opposed to being in denial forever.
in all actuality, most of it boils down to me
having security issues.
people have done that to me.
but those people aren't around anymore.
so it's up to me to fix it.
i can't undo what they did,
but i can learn from it, i can grow.
i can make myself a better person.

so i'm going to become a more pleasant
mercedes.
a new & improved version of the old me.
someone i can love and be proud of.
and someone people can really like.
i plan on chilling out, go with the flow even more,
and just have a brighter outlook.
maybe i'll even throw on some rose-colored glasses,
just for good measure...