god, i'm tired.
tired of empty promises i make myself.
tired of lost hopes.
tired of dwelling.
tired of my dead end job.
tired of being tired...literally.

there are so many things i need to do,
so many things i want to see.
and going the way i'm headed
isn't going to get me any of those things.
i'm better than this.
i'm better than being unhappy.
it's about time i do something about it.
go to school,
attempt to find a new job,
stop being so bored all the time.
i work just so i can barely live.
it's tiresome and old.

my birthday was on friday.
24 and not getting younger.
by now i expected so much more of myself.
i guess getting a later start than planned
is better than never getting started at all.
sometimes it's just so hard
to find the motivation,
and to figure out where i even begin.
thinking about it frustrates me,
even though i know it's something i need to do.

i long to be creative again,
to use my brain.
instead of doing something i hate,
and letting everything else waste away.
it gets me so bogged down sometimes,
i can't stand it.
every day being the same,
just going through the motions.

i need some excitement.
something fresh, something new.
....